Communtiy

photo credit: Jessica Turner

This past weekend is quickly climbing the chart of the best weekends of 2012. I wasn't sure at first how it would go, but so glad I made the leap to attend the (in)RL conference in Nashville with a sweet friend. 

I was so nice to get to visit with Maria on the way to Nashville. It's been too long since we talked at length about life. There are few friends in my life who truly celebrate this season of life with me. So thankful to have them. Hanging with Maria was a no-brainer. Stepping out of my comfort zone and walking into a room full of 40+ women- another issue entirely.

Like I said in this post I've got some scars. I still struggle with community, with reaching out and opening up to people. I'm often mistaken for a 'snob' because it is so hard for me to talk to people.. the truth- I'm painfully shy. I petrified of rejection. So this weekend I was nervous. OK let's be honest. Y'all- I was down right scared.

Broken hearts, they break easy. But He has the power to heal.

Jessica, Angie, and Annie hosted at Cross Point. And it was wonderful. So many sweet women, breathtaking videos and wonderful community. And my word, who ever brought that puppy chow- it was off the charts. I got to chat for a minute with Angie. And let me tell you, she's even prettier and sweeter in person. I may or may not have cried.  I wonder if anyone else cried when they met her for the first time? Hmph.

This weekend was so much more than watching videos and eating good food. For me- it was taking a few of those bricks away from the wall surrounding my heart. I love how Holley said in one of the videos that (paraphrasing here) she had built a wall around herself and then wondered why she was the only on in there. She took the words right out of my mouth. I have long struggled with making friends, because it is so difficult for me to let people in. But I'm seeing progress. He is working on my heart, and I am happier for it. 

To the ladies that were so sweet to me on Saturday, thank you. (That's you Nicole, Sarah, Tonya, and April. Y'all were the best table-mates a girl could ask for.)

Sweet friends, if you are struggling to mend the shattered pieces of your heart all by yourself- it is my prayer for you that you gain the courage to reach out. And that the Great Physician will heal you. Because, after all, He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Denim Day 2012

Few people in my life know that I am a survivor of sexual violence. There- I said it.
I don't talk about it very often. Partly because I don't like to re-visit that time of my life; and partly because I don't feel like it defines me. I've been very blessed in my life to have been surrounded by a few very supportive people who I owe much of my sanity to. These people have shown me the kind of understanding that can only come from Him, and have loved me well. I can honestly say that I have been very lucky to have 'overcome' that period of time. Sure- there are times when I think about it; but I have closure.

Closure is something that I pray all victims of sexual violence attain some day. Sadly, I know first hand that many victims never see the light at the end of that very long and dark tunnel. So, naturally, raising awareness for sexual violence prevention is a cause near and dear to my heart. Wednesday, April 25th, is the 13th Annual Denim Day in LA. Denim Day is a sexual violence prevention and education campaign to increase awareness about sexual violence, prevention and available resources for sexual violence survivors.

We have a choice.

I have shared very little about my life before I became an adult. Mainly because it's just not something I usually talk about. A good portion of my childhood was, for all intents and purposes, happy. There were some difficult times. But there were some dark times as well. Very dark.

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A child's upbringing has a huge impact on the person they grow to be; but I do not believe it to be the deciding factor. I believe that as an adult, the damaged child has a unique opportunity. Simply put:

We have a choice.

That realization was both terrifying and thrilling for me. For once I had the upper hand, the ball was in my court. Yet for several years I was emotionally paralyzed. I was so afraid to make the wrong choice; to take the wrong path. {and believe me- I traveled it a time or two.} I was 14 when I fully understood that my life was my responsibility. It was up to me to be successful, happy, & healthy. That was the scary part. But I was so gratified in that knowledge. In my short 14 years I had seen so much chaos, and I was now able to walk away from it. I didn't have to live like that anymore. I could step out of the shadows, figuratively speaking.

That is when my faith got real. I clung to Isaiah 41:13..


For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

Y'all, that is powerful stuff.  He was there, holding my hand. But most importantly- I wasn't alone. Ever.

Friend, if you are going through a season in your life where there is more darkness than light, it is my prayer for you that you gain a very real understanding of Isaiah 41:13. Because He is holding your right hand and you do not have to fear.

The view from here.

I'm declaring today a day of rest.

Much needed around here. As you may have {or maybe not?} I went back to work last week.

And boy, I forgot how tiring my job was.

I am exhausted.

Olivia rested much better last night.

I think we may have broken the fever for good.

It spiked to 104.1 Sunday and Monday {working on a post for that, coming soon}

So for now, this is where I can be found.

In my bed,

with Olivia,

resting.

P.S.

I'm going to try {yet again} to complete those precious photo-a-day challenge this month.

I'm sure everyone's seen the one I'll be following.

I plan to do a weekly post, on Sunday's maybe?

I really think these are a great way to document the everyday. Sure, I take tons of pictures of Olivia, but following these prompts helps me to capture the world around us right now.

P.S.S.

Speaking of documenting life.

Thanks to a handy Shutterfly coupon I finally finished a little photo book with some of my Project Life 2011 photos.

I didn't use all of them, I wanted something small that I could carry with me.

I think I'm going to make one for Olivia.

She's really enjoying looking at pictures now, and she loves books.

Click here to look at the entire book.

Tired.

I.am.so.tired.

Going back to work has left me with little energy;

and whatever energy I was able to summon was gone the minute I stepped through the front door.

Olivia has been fighting off a cold {I think} for about a week now. She developed a fever last night while she was staying the night with my mom.

I called Chance on my way home and I could hear that sweet girl crying for me in the background.

That, for me, is the most heartbreaking thing about going back to work.

I so enjoyed my time at home with her {and truly have enjoyed being back at work}

but when I hear her cry for me, it's so hard to remember all the reasons I went back to work to begin with.

So that's where I am.

Stuck between utter exhaustion

and heartbreak.

Searching for a happy medium for everyone.

It's Back! Wordy Wednesday..

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This quote couldn't have come at a better time for me.

I officially went back to work in my 'career' yesterday. It's kind of bittersweet.

I've weighed the pros and cons of returning for 10 months now.

Here's a very abbreviated example of what my list included {of course there was a list!}

Pro: added income for our family, having a sense of self outside that of a wife and mother, rejoining my 'family' {I really missed some of those girls!}, the sense of accomplishment when I met my sales goals.

Con: more time away from Olivia, less flexible schedule, less time to complete everyday tasks {I feel a lot of list making/multi-tasking in my future}, fear that I might -yet again- get burnt out.

But yesterday was nice.

Sure some of the cast of characters that I had missed for so many months had moved on. But it felt good to be back at work, in a career that I feel confident.

And I'm so thankful to Him for blessing me with the opportunity to go back to work. In a time that so many are struggling to find work, I know that I'm truly blessed.

**I'll be back later with some more exciting news.. in case me returning to work and opening an etsy shop wasn't enough for one week!!

Last Saturday.

Last Saturday I faced one of my greatest fears. Last Saturday I thought I might lose my best friend, my husband.

To say it was scary would be an understatement. It's no secret that Chance and I have been through our share of 'rough patches,' and I have spent many hours wondering what my life would be like with out Chance. But there was a finality in my fears that night. It was paralyzing.

We were eating dinner on a rare night out. Having a great time- I was thanking God for those moments. Chance told me he wasn't feeling right. We'd been passing a nasty cold around at our house; so at first I thought that maybe he was starting to feel bad again. Then he bit his tongue, hard and started getting really hot. He was instantly drenched in sweat.. He stood up and then he fell.
Words like heart attack, stroke and seizures were swimming in my head. Just moments before I was thanking God for the night we were having and in a heartbeat my prayers switched to begging the Lord to give us more time.

When the paramedics arrived his blood pressure was 76/42. We were transported by ambulance to a local hospital, where we spent the next 2 nights. After a chest x-ray, many panels of blood work, 2 EKG's, a cat scan, a 2D echo of his throat and heart, a full stroke assessment, and an MRI the final diagnosis was that he had what is known as a vagal response. Which caused his blood vessels to open up {making him feel disoriented} and when he stood up from his seat his body was unable to fight the gravitational pull on his blood. All this to say that his brain was deprived of oxygen and he lost consciousness.
Odds are that this was a one time ordeal and it will never happen again. I pray that this is the case.

That night reminded me that nothing is guaranteed. My next breath could very well be my last. I want to know that I have lived not only the length of my life-- but also the width of it.

A new year .. a new me.

I don't do resolutions. I think that's just setting myself up to fail. Year after year I lose motivation around January 15th. So this year I'm not making resolutions- just stating things that I hope to do. If they happen great, if not - I've always got 2013 to look forward to. {unless those crazy people are right and the would really ends in 2012.} The last one cracks me up, but I really want to! I think it'd be hilarious!!

Here's my list:

I'm so excited!

OK, I promise this isn't going to become one of those blogs that only talks about coupons and saving money.
{Although I do love those blogs. Naturally.}
But like is said before, I'm the kind of gal that shares a good thing when I find it.

That being said, I just got 25 journaling cards {that I plan to use in Olivia's baby scrapbook} completely FREE! I didn't even have to pay shipping!

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Aren't they sweet? I'm so excited to get them.

And here's how you can get some too:

CLICK HERE and sign-up to receive a $15 FREE Credit. Then get one person to sign-up (I signed up under a separate email) and you will get another $5 in FREE Credit, making it a total of $20 in FREE credits.

As you can see, I had the $20 credit which covers the shipping. I didn't pay anything! Yay for freebies!

I ♥ savings!

If you know me, you know I love to save money.
Sales, consignment shops, yard sales and coupons make me giddy.
I'm also the kind of girl who shares a good thing when she finds it.

Yesterday I popped into a local consignment shop.
I stop into this particular store about once a week- but yesterday was my best haul to date!

For me:

Yellow Bloomingdales 100% Cashmere Sweater 

Estimated full retail value: $150.00

Original in-store price: $9.00

Store promotion: 50 % off

Final price: $4.50

Orange Stripe Sweater from The Limited

Estimated full retail value: $50.00

Original in-store price: $9.00

Store promotion: 50% off

Final price: $4.50

For Olivia:

Children's Place Footed Pajamas {she so slept in them last night.}

Estimated full retail value: $15.00

Original in-store price: $4.00

Store promotion: 50% off

Final price: $2.00

Navy and White Stripe Old Navy Long Sleeve Tee

Estimated full retail value: $10.00

Original in-store price: $3.00

Store promotion: 50% off

Final price: $3.00

Grey Hoodie with Flower Applique

Estimated full retail value: $15.00

Original in-store price: $3.00

Store promotion: none :( but still a great price!

Final price: $3.00

Red with Silver Polka Dot Long Sleeve Tee

Estimated full retail value: $10.00

Original in-store price: $3.00

Store promotion: 80% off

Final price: $0.60

Clifford the Big Red Dog Stuffed Animal - not pictured, he was in the washing machine.

Estimated full retail value: $60.00 {still for sale on amazon!}

Original in-store price: $5.00

Store promotion: 50% off

Final price: $2.50

Score of the day: Tommy Hilfiger Floral Twin Sized Comforter

Estimated full retail value: $175.00

Original in-store price: $10.00

Store promotion: 50% off

Final price: $5.00

Total estimated full retail value of entire purchase: $425.00

Actual purchase price: $25.10 + tax

That's an estimated 94% discount! Woo Hoo.

Lesson of the day. Never- ever pay full retail for anything.

 

My Truth.

via Sycamore Street Press