10 ways to really love a momma...

Recently a dispute began between a close relative and myself.
I'm not happy about my part in it, but in my heart I know that I did what was in the best interest of my baby girl, and my family.  Nonetheless, the whole thing got me thinking of the ways someone (who does or doesn't have children themselves) can love a momma of small children. I think this should be in memo form, handed out to all who visit a friend or loved one in the postpartum wing. It should also be in made into a brochure and put in those little acrylic stands in the waiting room.

10 Ways to Really Love a Momma:

1. If you think about her text, tweet or instagram her. It might be just the encouragement she needs in the middle of a particularly difficult day. The other day when Olivia was sick, I was blessed beyond words by some women I'd never even met through their words of encouragement on instagram. They truly touched my heart.
2. Show her grace. If she can't meet you for lunch, cut her some slack. It's probably not because you aren't important to her- her babies are just more important. As a mom and wife, I dedicate my energy to my girl and my husband. If, after I have met all their needs, there is some Sarah left over- then and only then can I take time and energy from them. Sorry if that makes you mad some day. 
3. Make her a casserole; show up with coffee. This one's pretty simple. Sometimes a Momma is tired, and the last thing we want to do is cook.
4. Lend an ear.  Mommas are not immune to needing to talk; if anything we may need to do it more often. Letting your momma-friend talk to you and showing genuine care and concern for her will mean more than you can imagine.
5. Be kind. She's probably not feeling great about herself after having that baby. she may even have vomit in her hair with that sick toddler. (Heaven knows, I was a wreck this past week.) Compliment her anyway.
6. Offer to babysit. Again, pretty simple. Mommas a time out too.
7. Make an effort. If you want to see her, call her up and see if she's available. As a mom I find it hard to carve out time for myself to spend out of the house. 
8. Tell her you love her. When you become a mom your reality shifts. How you relate to people changes. It's important for her to know that you still love her.
9. Love her babies. Notice the little things, talk to them too, hug them. The quickest way to warm a Momma-heart is through her babies.
10. Pray for her and with her. That's all.

what a playdate taught me about life...

{Olivia and her best-friend}

It's funny isn't it? How we're supposed to be the one's teaching them; yet more often than not- God uses them to teach us invaluable truths??

That's exactly what happened to me a couple of weeks ago.  It was a low-key day. I think it was a Thursday. We had a morning play date planned with 2 of our besties. Normally I'm that mom. You know the one. The mom who always has her hair fixed and face on. The mom that insists on my and Olivia's outfits being just.so. Only a handful of people have ever seen me without make up.

Photo proof: This picture is from March 23, 2010- and I just happen to be delivering a baby at this exact moment. 

I don't mean to sound braggy- do I sound braggy? I have a point I promise. Stick with me.

Anyway, back to the play date...

Make up and hair don't hold up so well on a 90 degree day in June spent pool side. So, I didn't do my make up. Not even the eyeliner.  And I sloppily threw my and Olivia's hair up in a "bun." And you know what? It didn't make a bit of difference. Olivia still had a blast and I still got to spend some QT with a dear dear friend. And no one cared that my complexion isn't flawless, and that I had a few hairs out of place. 

The important thing was that I was there. Living my life, right where I was. Because as James 4:14 says:  

"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog- it's here for a little while, then it's gone."

I'm learning that things don't have to be perfect to glorify Him. The Lord does not call me to be the best dressed mommy {thank goodness.} He does not call me to spend time in the bathroom, fretting over those "baby bangs." However, He does call me to be present in my life. And to be the kind momma, wife and friend that shows His love to those around me. 

Olivia just turned 27 mo. last Saturday. Friends, I have blinked and my 6lb 14oz baby girl is a laughing, running, talking, potty-trained toddler. Her first year I worked way too much, and missed even more. I can't bare to let even another moment go without praise. He has blessed me more than I could ever deserve. And that morning fog? I can feel it fading a little bit every day.

Communtiy

photo credit: Jessica Turner

This past weekend is quickly climbing the chart of the best weekends of 2012. I wasn't sure at first how it would go, but so glad I made the leap to attend the (in)RL conference in Nashville with a sweet friend. 

I was so nice to get to visit with Maria on the way to Nashville. It's been too long since we talked at length about life. There are few friends in my life who truly celebrate this season of life with me. So thankful to have them. Hanging with Maria was a no-brainer. Stepping out of my comfort zone and walking into a room full of 40+ women- another issue entirely.

Like I said in this post I've got some scars. I still struggle with community, with reaching out and opening up to people. I'm often mistaken for a 'snob' because it is so hard for me to talk to people.. the truth- I'm painfully shy. I petrified of rejection. So this weekend I was nervous. OK let's be honest. Y'all- I was down right scared.

Broken hearts, they break easy. But He has the power to heal.

Jessica, Angie, and Annie hosted at Cross Point. And it was wonderful. So many sweet women, breathtaking videos and wonderful community. And my word, who ever brought that puppy chow- it was off the charts. I got to chat for a minute with Angie. And let me tell you, she's even prettier and sweeter in person. I may or may not have cried.  I wonder if anyone else cried when they met her for the first time? Hmph.

This weekend was so much more than watching videos and eating good food. For me- it was taking a few of those bricks away from the wall surrounding my heart. I love how Holley said in one of the videos that (paraphrasing here) she had built a wall around herself and then wondered why she was the only on in there. She took the words right out of my mouth. I have long struggled with making friends, because it is so difficult for me to let people in. But I'm seeing progress. He is working on my heart, and I am happier for it. 

To the ladies that were so sweet to me on Saturday, thank you. (That's you Nicole, Sarah, Tonya, and April. Y'all were the best table-mates a girl could ask for.)

Sweet friends, if you are struggling to mend the shattered pieces of your heart all by yourself- it is my prayer for you that you gain the courage to reach out. And that the Great Physician will heal you. Because, after all, He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds. Psalm 147:3

Make Someone's Day.

{via}

I believe that we are all put here to help one another through this thing called life. One way I do that is through food; another is words.

Remember the excitement you felt when you were a child and you received mail? I was so thrilled, that I'd be shaking by the time I got the envelope opened. Why can't the joy of 'happy mail' follow us into adulthood? 

I make it a point to send those that I love cards. Sometimes it's for their birthday, sometimes their anniversary, and sometimes its for no reason at all. Those are my favorite cards to send. The one's that come unexpectedly, and {hopefully} bring a smile to the face of the recipient. So when DaySpring gave me the opportunity to review their fabulous cards, I jumped at the opportunity. Yes, the cards were beautiful and well made with just the right words; but I saw them as so much more. These cards gave me the opportunity to bless someone I love. Lots of them have cards in the post man's bag right now! 

I think it's so sad that our society is getting away from card writing. {Does anyone send thank you notes anymore?} It's such a simple and quick way to reach out and show those that we love how much they matter to us. So go check out the 'thinking of you' section over at DaySpring, grab a card and get writing. And for goodness sake, the next time someone does something nice for you.... write.a.thank.you.note!

We're Back!

We're home from Virginia!
Olivia did awesome on our flights!! What a relief.

Tons of fun was had.
Two life long friendships were strengthened.
Lots of sweet moments between two little girls.
Lots of relaxing.
It was a good trip.

Here are a few pictures from our week away...

Ready for our first flight!

  

Olivia was so good, on both flights.

 

 She really liked looking out the window.

We took a field trip to the library. Olivia had never seen that many books- she was in awe. Precious.

Thanks for having us Nikki, Michael and Ellie!!!

December, really?

First things first, a very dear family friend is struggling right now in the ICU at a local hospital. They believe he may have had a stroke but has been in pretty much the same condition since early last week. Please pray for his healing, for comfort for his family and wisdom for the doctors and nurses caring for him.

December snuck up on me. Big time!
I was so busy with the bustle of Thanksgiving, I feel like I blinked and November was over! And here we are in December- the happiest month of the year. I love everything about the holiday season; especially all the fun traditions.

Last Firday was Chance's birthday, he's 28 now.

Olivia helped make his birthday cupcakes- carrot cake with cream cheese icing. He's the only one in the house that likes them. (I gag a little just thinking about them)

Saturday was a big day for us too. We took Olivia to see her very first Christmas parade. We were able to meet up with our dear friends the Pooles. You've heard me talk about our awesome play dates before.
Olivia and Adley just have the best time together, and it's so fun to watch them learn to interact.

Adley (Right) & Olivia (Left)

Olivia liked the marching bands and the gymnastics teams... Adley liked the pup-pups (dogs) best.

These girls make my heart smile. I love that Olivia is building friendships even at her young age. She asks for Adley all the time. I sure hope we're able to squeeze in a few playdates before the Christmas craziness starts!



Olivia is at such a fun age right now. She is so articulate, and has no problem telling you exactly what it is she wants!

In other fun news, and adding to the craziness, Olivia and I get to spend the week in Lexington, VA. We fly out on the 14th and won't be back until the 21st!! So the Bendel Christmas has to be planned and prepared for by the 13th! Whew- I feel a list coming on.

Meow!

I'm taking a break from the "what we've been up to" posts today to share about the Bendel Halloween.

I'm going to let you in on a little secret- I am a bit of a holiday/special occasion person. Actually I'm a huge holiday/special occasion person. I just love sharing all the fun and traditions with Olivia!
I make her a goody basket for each holiday.

First thing this morning she opened her Halloween basket...

And naturally, she gets a card at every possible opportunity!

I worked during the day, but couldn't wait to get home and get our girl all gussied up! She was a precious little black kitty cat. She was saying "meow" all night!! It was so sweet.

We were sad that my mom and grandmother weren't able to make it trick or treating with us; but so happy that Dee Dee {my sweet mother-in-law} joined in the fun! That girl loves her Dee Dee!!

Liv was so excited to get started she could hardly contain herself while we waited for Daddy to join us.

Thankfully, he didn't keep her waiting long!

This is Olivia receiving her first 'treat' at Trunk or Treat. She was awesome. She figured out the whole 'Trick or Treating' thing very early on- saying "twick-er-twee" at every car, and "dank oooo" once she'd scored the goods. She's such a big girl now!

We even got to see our sweet friends Dana and Adley {the sweet little lady bug.} Don't you just want to pinch those cheeks? She's a doll baby, and we love her. Olivia and I are so blessed to have these girls so close. They live just a couple of miles down the road- so we're able to get the girls together often. I so hope that their little friendship continues through school and that they are able to really be there for each other as they get older.

I think it is so important to have strong ties with friends. Up until this point in my life I've been blessed with 4 wonderful friends, who I couldn't imagine my life without. Dana is quickly joining that group! We've known each other since middle school, and graduated high school together- though we didn't become friends until just this year. She has been such a blessing to me.

I'll end this post with a sweet snap shot of me and Olivia the cat. She just loved all the festivities.. I think she's a bit more like me than we thought.

They Saved Me..

I'm back this afternoon for a link up to The Shine Project, this weeks link up is about friendships. I had planned on writing a post about friendship in honor of Friendship Day on Sunday anyway, so this was perfect!

There are 4 people in my life who, in their own way, have saved my life. They are all equally important in my life, so I'll just list them in the order they entered my life.

First we have Maria {also known to me as: Mia, Mimi, Meems, or Lovely.} We have been friends since 1999 {that's 12 years folks.} We met in the seventh grade, and despite a rocky beginning- she has always been one of my greatest blessings. We had similar circumstances in our childhoods and quickly bonded. She practically lived with us during middle and high school. She has seen me through more trials than anyone else, she's just been around longer! There is not a single person in this world who knows or understands me better than her. She is a walking, talking reflection of my heart {without the walls.} She is the sweetest most kind hearted person I know. She has saved my life in more ways than one; but I will forever owe her for opening my eyes and saving my marriage.

 

Next we have Ashley- we met and were instant friends in 2005. Much like Maria, Ashley is a blonde version of me. We couldn't be more alike if we tried. When we see each other we literally laugh ourselves to sleep. My friendship with Ashley {and Maria} surpasses the normal bounds of friendship. In my heart they are just as much a part of me as Olivia. Without the two of them I would not be me. Ashley has a sweet soul, and a southern girl attitude! She is witty and smart. Ashley is the friend that looks at me when I'm being dumb and says, "Sarah- honey, that's stupid." And sometimes that's just what I need.

 

This is Chance. You've met him before- but I would be horribly mistaken to not include him in this list. Chance is so much more than my husband. We have walked a long and difficult road together, and came out hold hands on the other end. We officially met on March 20, 2006. That was our first date. I knew then that he was the one for me. Shortly after we married he held my hand through the hardest season in my life. Without him I'm not sure I would have survived it, literally. The loss of my PawPaw shattered the core of my life and forced me into a state of depression that I'd never known. He was there the whole time. Every single agonizing minute. Yet to say that we've always been happy and our relationship has always reflected the love we feel would be a lie. In the first 2 1/2 years of our marriage- I would wager to say that there were more unhappy days than happy ones. There have been many nights that we would both lay in bed and wonder what we were doing.  With the birth of our daughter in March of 2010 came the dawn of a new day for us. Suddenly our love had purpose. We had someone that made it all worth fighting for, someone that meant just as much to him as she did me. So we worked at it, we were honest, we trusted. We have stared down the devil in our marriage and we won.

In loving Chance I "inherited" Nikki. She and I never went through that "get to know you phase." I've loved her since before I met her. {I don't think we ever met in person until 2009} She and Chance had been best friends for many years, and she was such an important part of his life. I loved her because she loved him. Simple as that. When I had Olivia in 2010 we got even closer. And even closer still almost exactly a year later when she welcomed her sweet Ellie to the world. {That's her that I'm holding in the picture above. Check out that hair!} Since we both became mothers our friendship is so much more. Nikki is the one who "gets" all the mom stuff. The one I can do a bible study on motherhood with, or call when i read a really great parenting article. She is walking this new road with me and we are both learning. It's truly a blessing.