I'm not happy about my part in it, but in my heart I know that I did what was in the best interest of my baby girl, and my family. Nonetheless, the whole thing got me thinking of the ways someone (who does or doesn't have children themselves) can love a momma of small children. I think this should be in memo form, handed out to all who visit a friend or loved one in the postpartum wing. It should also be in made into a brochure and put in those little acrylic stands in the waiting room.
10 Ways to Really Love a Momma:
- If you think about her text, tweet or instagram her. It might be just the encouragement she needs in the middle of a particularly difficult day. The other day when Olivia was sick, I was blessed beyond words by some women I'd never even met through their words of encouragement on instagram. They truly touched my heart.
- Show her grace. If she can't meet you for lunch, cut her some slack. It's probably not because you aren't important to her- her babies are just more important. As a mom and wife, I dedicate my energy to my girl and my husband. If, after I have met all their needs, there is some Sarah left over- then and only then can I take time and energy from them. Sorry if that makes you mad some day.
- Make her a casserole; show up with coffee. This one's pretty simple. Sometimes a Momma is tired, and the last thing we want to do is cook.
- Lend an ear. Mommas are not immune to needing to talk; if anything we may need to do it more often. Letting your momma-friend talk to you and showing genuine care and concern for her will mean more than you can imagine.
- Be kind. She's probably not feeling great about herself after having that baby. she may even have vomit in her hair with that sick toddler. (Heaven knows, I was a wreck this past week.) Compliment her anyway.
- Offer to babysit. Again, pretty simple. Mommas a time out too.
- Make an effort. If you want to see her, call her up and see if she's available. As a mom I find it hard to carve out time for myself to spend out of the house.
- Tell her you love her. When you become a mom your reality shifts. How you relate to people changes. It's important for her to know that you still love her.
- Love her babies. Notice the little things, talk to them too, hug them. The quickest way to warm a Momma-heart is through her babies.
- Pray for her and with her. That's all.