Y'all I am so stinkin' excited! I pretty much have the sweetest roomies/travel buddies. I seriously can't wait to hug all of you. Please feel free to seek me out and hug me.
A- Accent you wish you had - I really love my southern accent. But I guess if I had to choose I'd pick the obvious and go British.
B- Baking or Cooking? - I enjoy both, but get excited about baking. So baking.
C- Can't Get Enough..... - Sunset roll. (a sushi roll from a locally owned Thai restaurant.) If you ever come to western Kentucky, let me know and we'll do lunch. You won't regret it.
D- Drink you can't go without - Coffee, but sweet tea is a very close second.
E-Emotion you get when those Hallmark commercials come on - Happy tears, and sometimes an ugly cry.
F-Fictional Character you relate to - I haven't read a fictional book since Twilight. And since I'm not a vampire, I don't really relate to any of those characters. So let's go TV- I'd say Christina Braverman from Parenthood. Not so much in the 3 kids/breast cancer way. Rather in the crazy hectic life, love my husband like mad .. way.
G-Guilty Pleasure - Days of Our Lives. Don't judge me.
H- Hometown - Paducah, KY. Quilt City, USA.
I- Ice Cream Flavor - Double fudge moose tracks.
J- Jumpstart Go To (aka how you get your day started) - Hug from Chance and Olivia, Coffee, Social Media.
K- Keepsake Item - The letter my PawPaw write me on the day I graduated high school. I carry it with me in my wallet and read it when I'm feeling down. Never fails to remind me how much he loved me.
L- Life Verse(s) - "This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24
M-Memory that makes you smile - Gracious, there's so many. One of my favorites is the first time Olivia really belly laughed.
N- Non-fiction writer you want to have dinner with - Ann Voskamp and Angie Smith
O- Opulent Item You Want (something that is way out of your price range) - Trip to Italy.
P-Pattern You Love - Polka dots, chevron, paisley.
Q- Quirk You Have - I talk with my hands, a lot.
R- Relaxing Spot - The rocking chair in Olivia's room.
S- Snow or Sun? - Snow. Because when you're cold you can just keep adding layers. But when your hot- well, once you're naked your naked. And hot.
T- TV show you miss - Law and Order SVU. Yes, I know it's still on the air, but Elliot is gone and it's just not the same.
U- Unique Fact About You - I was stabbed in the nose with a pencil in 1st grade. If you look closely, you can still see the dot on my nose.
V- Valentine's Day ...big deal or not? - So not a big deal.
W- What's Your Love Language? Physical touch, words of affirmation and office supplies.
X- X-Factor Song You Would Sing (sidenote: I don't watch the show...) - Honestly, I've never seen the show. But my favorite song is Reedemer, by Nicole C. Mullen.
Y- Yoga or Not? - I don't really do exercise.
Z- Zealous Dream You Have - to own a children's clothing boutique. There, I said it.
October 8, 2012
October 6, 2012
Influence Conference Get to Know You Questions... part 2
What was your favorite food when you were a child?
Spaghetti. Maybe because it was good.. maybe because we ate it at least once a week. 3 small girls, one income= momma cooked on a budget!
When you have 30 minutes of free-time, how do you pass the time?
Usually I check twitter, facebook, instagram, and pinterest. In that order. And repeat.
Have you ever had something happen to you that you thought was bad but it turned out to be for the best?
I left a full-time position because I didn't feel like it was a good fit for me, with no job to go to. Ended up not working for nearly 6 months. It was a much needed break. I had worked full time since I was 16, and had a job since I was 12. Those 6 months were full of uncertainty- but I was able to spend so much time with Olivia. But most importantly- I learned to fully depend on God. We went from 2 incomes to 1, hard for any family, at any time. So many times He was there, and provided in ways we never expected.
What is your favorite body part?
Awkward? Umm, Chance likes my smile. Let's go with that one.
If you could choose to stay a certain age forever, what age would it be?
So far I'm liking 25 pretty well.
October 5, 2012
Influence Conference Get to Know You Questions.. pt1
One of my lovely room-mates for the conference had the great idea to host a "Get to know you series" and because I want to be a good roomie, and because she's really sweet (seriously y'all are going to love her), and because it really is a good idea I wanted to participate.
What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?
"I'm with you" by Amy Grant and Nichole Nordeman. It reminds me of my incredible best friend. It reminds me of this beautiful online community. It reminds me to truly "be with" the people in my life. It's a beautiful song. #2 is "Stand Up" by the Veggietales. So there's that too.
If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be?
Grace. Grace for myself, for my husband, and for others. Sometimes I get caught up in the doing and my obsessive need for tidiness (both literal and figurative), and forget that we are not all perfect. That we are broken. And in that brokenness He is made whole.
What story does your family always tell about you?
My word, there are tons. But the first one that comes to mind is my 5th birthday. I'll set the scene: I had asked for a pink and purple bicycle. I may or may not have been spoiled by my grandparents. I may or may not have acted like a spoiled brat. Anyway, after eating cake and opening a ton of presents I was told we needed to go to the back patio to see my last present. I wasn't a dim child so I knew what it was. (see also, spoiled brat) When the door opened, it was there. My brand new shiny, pink and green bike. I had a melt down. My uncle quickly swooped in and started asking me what my favorite colors were. As I listed them off one by one it happened. My beloved Uncle Barry had done it. He tricked me. I said green. Once I admitted (to myself as much as everyone else) that green was one of my favorite colors I was fine. And I loved my bike. That bike is still in a family members garage. There's another story about the day my sister Lindsay was born, it's really sweet, but totally not embarrassing. So I'll leave you with the bratty story and hope you still want to be my friend.
The best part of waking up is?
Waking Olivia up. She is always has such a big smile on her face when she wakes up and she's in such a good mood. I'll be holding tightly to those memories when she's 12 I'm sure.
What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
Time of day: bedtime. Hands down. Olivia and I don't listen to lullabies at bedtime, I play praise and worship songs. It's a beautiful combination. One of the things/people I am most thankful for in my life and my Jesus. It almost always amounts to my reduced to a puddle of tears.
Day of the week: Friday. Because I get to take Olivia to dance, and it's adorable.
Month of the year: December. I'm just so happy in December. All the decorating, and baking, and gift giving, and doing for others. It fills my cup.
What’s the #1 most played song on your iPod?
"I'm with you" by Amy Grant and Nichole Nordeman. It reminds me of my incredible best friend. It reminds me of this beautiful online community. It reminds me to truly "be with" the people in my life. It's a beautiful song. #2 is "Stand Up" by the Veggietales. So there's that too.
If you had to work on only one project for the next year, what would it be?
Grace. Grace for myself, for my husband, and for others. Sometimes I get caught up in the doing and my obsessive need for tidiness (both literal and figurative), and forget that we are not all perfect. That we are broken. And in that brokenness He is made whole.
What story does your family always tell about you?
My word, there are tons. But the first one that comes to mind is my 5th birthday. I'll set the scene: I had asked for a pink and purple bicycle. I may or may not have been spoiled by my grandparents. I may or may not have acted like a spoiled brat. Anyway, after eating cake and opening a ton of presents I was told we needed to go to the back patio to see my last present. I wasn't a dim child so I knew what it was. (see also, spoiled brat) When the door opened, it was there. My brand new shiny, pink and green bike. I had a melt down. My uncle quickly swooped in and started asking me what my favorite colors were. As I listed them off one by one it happened. My beloved Uncle Barry had done it. He tricked me. I said green. Once I admitted (to myself as much as everyone else) that green was one of my favorite colors I was fine. And I loved my bike. That bike is still in a family members garage. There's another story about the day my sister Lindsay was born, it's really sweet, but totally not embarrassing. So I'll leave you with the bratty story and hope you still want to be my friend.
The best part of waking up is?
Waking Olivia up. She is always has such a big smile on her face when she wakes up and she's in such a good mood. I'll be holding tightly to those memories when she's 12 I'm sure.
What is your favorite time of day/day of the week/month of the year?
Time of day: bedtime. Hands down. Olivia and I don't listen to lullabies at bedtime, I play praise and worship songs. It's a beautiful combination. One of the things/people I am most thankful for in my life and my Jesus. It almost always amounts to my reduced to a puddle of tears.
Day of the week: Friday. Because I get to take Olivia to dance, and it's adorable.
Month of the year: December. I'm just so happy in December. All the decorating, and baking, and gift giving, and doing for others. It fills my cup.
October 2, 2012
i don't want to be superwoman.
{via}
A friend to me one time that she didn't know how I did it all. How I worked full time, maintained our home, took care of our family, nurtured friendships and still made time to sew a pair of ruffle pants for Olivia. She referred to me a "superwoman." I nearly spit my coffee across the room. Seriously? Me, superwoman? I'm a wreck. My planner is so marked, and highlighted that if you tilt it just the right way it looks like a 4 year old scribbled all over it. On any given day I have a list a mile long- that I never seem to get all marked off. I work crazy hours and Chance and my schedules very rarely lead to time off together. Weeks go by with little more than 15 minutes of conversation each day. Orchestrating a family event is very much like an act of congress.
Superwoman I am not. Not even close.
I've felt like I was falling short lately. Way short.
I wasn't being in the moment with Olivia. I was harsh with Chance. Stressing about money, irritable at work, neglectful with friends. It was really starting to take a toll.
I'm been praying about how overwhelmed I was, and that He would show me where I needed to cut back. What areas of my life needed a little pruning. I kept feeling Him reminding me that none of that matters.
That as long as I was fulfilling His purpose and His plan for me, it didn't matter if Olivia's bow is falling out, or if I had to wash that load of laundry 3 times in a row because I kept forgetting them in there.
He reminded me that I didn't need to "do." I just needed to "be."
That I shouldn't see my worth in my accomplishments, rather through His eyes.
That He is made perfect in my imperfections.
That I should give myself, and others about a hundred times more grace each day.
That Olivia's adorable outfit doesn't matter a hill-of-beans if she doesn't know Jesus died on the cross for her.
I don't want to be seen as a super woman. I want to be seen as a Godly woman. As a light for Him here. I want people to hear Him before they hear me. And I'm never going to stop seeking that.
Superwoman I am not. Not even close.
I've felt like I was falling short lately. Way short.
I wasn't being in the moment with Olivia. I was harsh with Chance. Stressing about money, irritable at work, neglectful with friends. It was really starting to take a toll.
I'm been praying about how overwhelmed I was, and that He would show me where I needed to cut back. What areas of my life needed a little pruning. I kept feeling Him reminding me that none of that matters.
That as long as I was fulfilling His purpose and His plan for me, it didn't matter if Olivia's bow is falling out, or if I had to wash that load of laundry 3 times in a row because I kept forgetting them in there.
He reminded me that I didn't need to "do." I just needed to "be."
That I shouldn't see my worth in my accomplishments, rather through His eyes.
That He is made perfect in my imperfections.
That I should give myself, and others about a hundred times more grace each day.
That Olivia's adorable outfit doesn't matter a hill-of-beans if she doesn't know Jesus died on the cross for her.
I don't want to be seen as a super woman. I want to be seen as a Godly woman. As a light for Him here. I want people to hear Him before they hear me. And I'm never going to stop seeking that.
October 1, 2012
when you don't get the answers + big picture
When Olivia was diagnosed with PFAPA (pronounced "fappa") I wasn't surprised. It wasn't scary. It was actually the diagnosis I prayed for. It sounds silly, but I had a peace about Periodic Fever Syndrome, I was ready for it. I had done the research and talked at length with a woman with a daughter who was diagnosed with PFAPA. But before all of that, when it was just us against the fever, with a seemingly endless cycle of motrin and tylenol, I was scared. It was that shake you to the core, anything is possible, paralyzing fear. Because we didn't know what monsters were lurking in the shadows of that fever.
That's why I'm writing this post.
For the mama out there, who doesn't know what's going on with her baby and will scream if she hears "virus" even one more time. I want you to know that you are not crazy; there is an answer to all of this. And good for you for not taking a doctor's word as gospel, and being your child's advocate.
{the sight that stopped my heart}
If you're new here you can read this, this, and this to catch up.
To put it simply. Olivia gets fevers, regularly. For no reason. There's never any specific virus, or bug that the doctors can identify. Just the fever. PFAPA is characterized by a recurring fever of unknown origin. It took the doctors at Vanderbilt about 20 minutes to diagnose her. If you are going through something similar with your little one, and you don't feel like you are getting the answers you need- I would encourage you to seek another opinion. We were very lucky to have a doctor who doesn't have a God-complex, and knows she doesn't always have the answers. I know not everyone is as lucky. Remember, the doctors work for you. If you don't feel like you are getting the best possible care your (& your baby) deserve better. {stepping off my soapbox now}
Next, I would tell you to seek community. As with most things- walking through the unknown of childhood illnesses is easier when you are surrounded by your people. It is important for you and your child to have a support system. There were many instances where I had been sitting at Olivia's bedside for days with no break, and a friend or family member would all but push me to the bathroom so that I could take a shower, or brought dinner by. Those acts of service were exactly what we needed in that moment.
That brings me to the next point; take care of yourself. I'm sure you've been told before, "if you don't take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone else." Y'all, it's so true. You have to make time to shower, eat and rest. Let the people in your life help. Yes, I agree no one can take care of that baby better than you. But I doubt anything horrible will happen because you take a 5 minutes shower. And you'll feel like a different person after those 5 minutes.
My final piece of advice is to pray. There were many days (and still are) that I would lay in bed with Olivia, her body so hot I could barely stand to hold her- but couldn't let go. In those moments I prayed. I prayed about the temperature of her body, I prayed about the terrifying thoughts in my mind, I prayed He would give the doctors wisdom. This is your baby, the most special tangible thing in your life. You can't just leave it to the doctors- you've got to hand it over to the Great Physician too. These precious babies that He has placed in our care, are after all not our own. They are His.
To put it simply. Olivia gets fevers, regularly. For no reason. There's never any specific virus, or bug that the doctors can identify. Just the fever. PFAPA is characterized by a recurring fever of unknown origin. It took the doctors at Vanderbilt about 20 minutes to diagnose her. If you are going through something similar with your little one, and you don't feel like you are getting the answers you need- I would encourage you to seek another opinion. We were very lucky to have a doctor who doesn't have a God-complex, and knows she doesn't always have the answers. I know not everyone is as lucky. Remember, the doctors work for you. If you don't feel like you are getting the best possible care your (& your baby) deserve better. {stepping off my soapbox now}
Next, I would tell you to seek community. As with most things- walking through the unknown of childhood illnesses is easier when you are surrounded by your people. It is important for you and your child to have a support system. There were many instances where I had been sitting at Olivia's bedside for days with no break, and a friend or family member would all but push me to the bathroom so that I could take a shower, or brought dinner by. Those acts of service were exactly what we needed in that moment.
That brings me to the next point; take care of yourself. I'm sure you've been told before, "if you don't take care of yourself, you're no good to anyone else." Y'all, it's so true. You have to make time to shower, eat and rest. Let the people in your life help. Yes, I agree no one can take care of that baby better than you. But I doubt anything horrible will happen because you take a 5 minutes shower. And you'll feel like a different person after those 5 minutes.
My final piece of advice is to pray. There were many days (and still are) that I would lay in bed with Olivia, her body so hot I could barely stand to hold her- but couldn't let go. In those moments I prayed. I prayed about the temperature of her body, I prayed about the terrifying thoughts in my mind, I prayed He would give the doctors wisdom. This is your baby, the most special tangible thing in your life. You can't just leave it to the doctors- you've got to hand it over to the Great Physician too. These precious babies that He has placed in our care, are after all not our own. They are His.
September 30, 2012
things you should know.
I had thought about writing a post like this before. And then decided against it.
But after some thought I feel like my new friends that I'm going to be meeting at the upcoming Influence Conference deserve some warning. Y'all I'm a mess. Really. Consider this my public service announcement.
I'm Sarah, nicetomeetyou. If we were sitting on the sofa drinking coffee I'd probably hug you right about now. That brings me to my first bullet point:
But after some thought I feel like my new friends that I'm going to be meeting at the upcoming Influence Conference deserve some warning. Y'all I'm a mess. Really. Consider this my public service announcement.
I'm Sarah, nicetomeetyou. If we were sitting on the sofa drinking coffee I'd probably hug you right about now. That brings me to my first bullet point:
- I'm a hugger. I hug. A lot. For those of you who have personal space issues- I'm sorry. If you're a fellow hugger- please seek me out and we will hug.
- I'm southern. And it goes to the core. I'm loud, I say "y'all" a lot, and I call everyone sweetie, darlin', honey, or love. I'm also a very expressive person, and I talk with my hands.
- Like any good southern woman, I have big hair. I tease, and hairspray, and then tease it a little more.
- I died laughing when Jessi talked about "the way we really look" during the simulcast. So let's get real here. I'm short. Like 5'2". And I'm hip-y. (see photo evidence above) Sister's got back. I wear high heels almost daily. They make me taller, and seem to balance the "proportions" a little bit better.
- I like to eat, and get cranky if I stay hungry too long. If I'm crabby- just shove a dough nut in my mouth and tell me to get over it. I'll be fine.
- I love, hard. I'm not one of those people who makes "surface" friendships. I just can't. I love, fiercely. And I'm loyal to a fault. Like a saint bernard- but worse. Not bad qualities to have in my book.
,
- I feel my emotions whole-heartedly, and it shows. I'm not a person who can hide their emotions. Not even a little bit. Fair warning: I will cry through the vast majority of the worship service. I won't even pretend to be able to control it. I've already bought my tissues.
- This will be my first time to leave Olivia for any real length of time. I'm going to be a hot mess. Just keeping it real. I'm getting a little panic-y just thinking about it.
- I'm a nerd. I have an odd obsession with office supplies. Pens, highlighters & planners are my love language.
- I'm actually very shy. If you see me standing around, please feel free to come and chat. Odds are- I'd give anything to have the courage to just walk up and start a conversation. I just can't initiate it. But once we get past "Hey!" I'll be fine, and we'll be friends.
September 23, 2012
my journey to influence.
So, I'm going to the Influence Conference in Indianapolis. I could not be more excited, or feel more blessed. This has been something the Lord put on my heart in the spring, but never really looked like a possibility- until Thursday. That's when the Lord moved, and moved fast.
Spring 2012: I was reading Casey's blog and first read about the conference. I was immediately interested and wished I could go. I prayed about it a few times and told myself & the Lord that if I was supposed to be there, I'd be there. All the while having absolutely no idea how it would all happen, given the cost involved.
April 28, 2012: Attended a in(RL) meet up hosted by Angie, Jessica and Annie. It was a huge step out of my comfort zone, so I dragged my best friend Maria along. We both left happy. I left with a feeling that maybe, just maybe I could do this whole 'community' thing after all.
May 2012: I created a twitter account, and though it felt very creeper-ish at first- I began to seek community. Also in May I started the Soul Detox bible study and followed along with the She Reads Truth community.
Summer 2012: Life caught up with us, Olivia kept having the fevers, my best friend was going through a really tough time. Life was busy. But I still felt that push, the gentle nudge to continue to be intentional in my online friendships. I was blessed to be able participate in the She Reads Truth community in a more involved manner, and began maintaining the instagram feed. Olivia was diagnosed, she started school, and dance. Life was busy still. Yet, these connections kept popping up. I continued to pray that if the Lord wanted me to attend this conference that He would show me a way.
Early September 2012: Two girls that I had "met" had been very faithful in checking in with me about the conference. We all felt like I was supposed to be there. They had been holding the 4th spot in their room for me, so sweetly. Eventually, we had to face the reality that the money simply was not there. I had attempted to raise the money for the costs several times. And even almost had my ticket paid for once, but something always came up. at one point I said I would "need a miracle." I told the girls to let someone else take my spot that "2012 was just not the year, but that I'd be there in 2013!" To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.
That brings us to last Wednesday night. On my way home from work I couldn't stop thinking about the conference and this community. I cried as I drove. And as I walked into the garage, I prayed to the Lord- "Father, I don't know why my heart wont let this go. I feel like I'm supposed to be there. Lord, if it is your will for me to go- you're going to have to make it happen. I can't. If this isn't the year, please just take the desire from my heart." And that was it. I went upstairs, put Olivia to bed and then went to sleep myself. He started moving, and He moved big!
Thursday:
9:38am- I was sitting in the drop off line at Olivia's school. Something made me pick up my phone and look at twitter. I saw Jessi's tweet about some scholarships that were available. I had instant hope. Maybe this would happen after all. I sat in the parking lot, hands shaking as I typed "Oh Jessi, this is truly an answer to prayer! I've been dying to come to influence but there's simply no way we can afford it."
Again I prayed that the Lord would show me if this was truly what He wanted for me.
10:04am- DM'd Ashley on twitter to tell her I was coming. Joined the Influence facebook page. Posted that I was looking for room-mates. I tried very hard not to let the logistics and cost of hotel/travel get me down. Still praying.
Noon- Started posting Olivia's old clothes and toys on a local classifieds page. Things start selling.
1:13pm- Ashley texts me saying that she and Brittany would like for me to be their 5th roomie. The cost of my hotel stay was cut to a fraction of the original price.
2:25pm- I'd sold $45 of Olivia's old things. In 2 hours my ticket was almost halfway paid for. Truly a miracle. I talked to my mom about borrowing her van so that I could drive to Indy, as airfare was looking like it might cost about $500.00. She said it was obvious that the Lord wanted me at this conference and that we'd figure it out.
3:00pm- I left for work and literally cried the whole way there. I was completely overwhelmed by God's grace and goodness.
9:30pm- Got home from work, still trying to figure out the money aspect. But certain that the Lord had made His intent clear. Checked facebook, $40.00 more had sold. All but $15 of my ticket= paid. Went to bed praising Him!
Friday:
8:15am- Woke up to a tweet from Lena, inviting me to carpool with her and 2 other lovelies from Nashville. Instant tears. Rebecca responds that she lives in Murray (30 min. away), and that I can ride with her to meet the others in Nashville. Uncontrollable sobs. Y'all He is good, so so very good.
around 9:00am- Checked facebook. Ticket, travel and hotel are all paid for.
In 24 hours. Less than that really. I was speechless, smiling uncontrollably- but speechless.
I had sold a pair of pajama's and 2 shirts to a girl for $4, we'll call her Jane. I arranged to deliver various items to people throughout the day Friday. I delivered her items, and thanked her for her part in getting me to this conference. After a long day of deliveries, Olivia and I went home to get ready for dance. A quick phone call to Ashley about all this awesomeness. Still in complete shock. One more check of facebook. Jane had requested 2 more items. Again, her total was $4. We arranged a time that worked for both of us to make the transaction. Then Olivia and I left for dance. We got home around 7:30 and I did another quick check of facebook. Jane had sent me a private message saying that she had miscounted her money and that she didn't have to money to buy the items because she still had to buy diapers for her daughter. My heart broke for her. She said she really wanted those pj's; I told her that I would be happy to hold the items for her until she could get them. Instantly the Lord spoke to me. He told me I should give her the items. I went to sleep that night thinking of her. And remembering times when we struggled and were blessed beyond measure by someone else. I knew what I had to do. I woke up early on Saturday morning and got ready for work. I thought about Jane all day long. My heart was just so heavy for her. When I was driving home I prayed for her and her circumstances. As I rocked Olivia to sleep the Lord told me that I wasn't done with her just yet. I needed to buy those diapers for her. There was no doubt. I had to do it. I went to sleep again, thinking of her, the conference & His goodness. I woke up around midnight and could not go back to sleep. Finally, around 3am I got out of bed. I had to get the thoughts out of my head. I sat down to write a little note to accompany the little care package. I can't remember exactly what I set out to write. All I know is that as soon as I sat down to write all I could think about was purpose behind Influence. Making much of Him. This was what it was all about. MY influence. I had the opportunity to be a light for Him in this moment. This was my chance to use my influence in life to show someone Christ's love. Amazing. I bought the diapers ($9.97) and delivered the diapers, pj's, toy, a pack of wipes and my heart for her in that note. I had told one of the girls at work about this situation and how my heart was broken for her, then I told her about my morning delivery and that I hoped it gave Jane some encouragement. Not 10 minutes later a customer walked in and bought a preservation kit from me. An automatic $10.00 spiff onto my paycheck. See what He did there. Chance and I didn't really have the money to buy someone else's child diapers, but I did it anyway. And He provided, as He always does.
So it all came full circle. A dream turned to reality, a need turned to a blessing, all for His glory.
Spring 2012: I was reading Casey's blog and first read about the conference. I was immediately interested and wished I could go. I prayed about it a few times and told myself & the Lord that if I was supposed to be there, I'd be there. All the while having absolutely no idea how it would all happen, given the cost involved.
April 28, 2012: Attended a in(RL) meet up hosted by Angie, Jessica and Annie. It was a huge step out of my comfort zone, so I dragged my best friend Maria along. We both left happy. I left with a feeling that maybe, just maybe I could do this whole 'community' thing after all.
May 2012: I created a twitter account, and though it felt very creeper-ish at first- I began to seek community. Also in May I started the Soul Detox bible study and followed along with the She Reads Truth community.
Summer 2012: Life caught up with us, Olivia kept having the fevers, my best friend was going through a really tough time. Life was busy. But I still felt that push, the gentle nudge to continue to be intentional in my online friendships. I was blessed to be able participate in the She Reads Truth community in a more involved manner, and began maintaining the instagram feed. Olivia was diagnosed, she started school, and dance. Life was busy still. Yet, these connections kept popping up. I continued to pray that if the Lord wanted me to attend this conference that He would show me a way.
Early September 2012: Two girls that I had "met" had been very faithful in checking in with me about the conference. We all felt like I was supposed to be there. They had been holding the 4th spot in their room for me, so sweetly. Eventually, we had to face the reality that the money simply was not there. I had attempted to raise the money for the costs several times. And even almost had my ticket paid for once, but something always came up. at one point I said I would "need a miracle." I told the girls to let someone else take my spot that "2012 was just not the year, but that I'd be there in 2013!" To say I was disappointed would be an understatement.
That brings us to last Wednesday night. On my way home from work I couldn't stop thinking about the conference and this community. I cried as I drove. And as I walked into the garage, I prayed to the Lord- "Father, I don't know why my heart wont let this go. I feel like I'm supposed to be there. Lord, if it is your will for me to go- you're going to have to make it happen. I can't. If this isn't the year, please just take the desire from my heart." And that was it. I went upstairs, put Olivia to bed and then went to sleep myself. He started moving, and He moved big!
Thursday:
9:38am- I was sitting in the drop off line at Olivia's school. Something made me pick up my phone and look at twitter. I saw Jessi's tweet about some scholarships that were available. I had instant hope. Maybe this would happen after all. I sat in the parking lot, hands shaking as I typed "Oh Jessi, this is truly an answer to prayer! I've been dying to come to influence but there's simply no way we can afford it."
Again I prayed that the Lord would show me if this was truly what He wanted for me.
10:04am- DM'd Ashley on twitter to tell her I was coming. Joined the Influence facebook page. Posted that I was looking for room-mates. I tried very hard not to let the logistics and cost of hotel/travel get me down. Still praying.
Noon- Started posting Olivia's old clothes and toys on a local classifieds page. Things start selling.
1:13pm- Ashley texts me saying that she and Brittany would like for me to be their 5th roomie. The cost of my hotel stay was cut to a fraction of the original price.
2:25pm- I'd sold $45 of Olivia's old things. In 2 hours my ticket was almost halfway paid for. Truly a miracle. I talked to my mom about borrowing her van so that I could drive to Indy, as airfare was looking like it might cost about $500.00. She said it was obvious that the Lord wanted me at this conference and that we'd figure it out.
3:00pm- I left for work and literally cried the whole way there. I was completely overwhelmed by God's grace and goodness.
9:30pm- Got home from work, still trying to figure out the money aspect. But certain that the Lord had made His intent clear. Checked facebook, $40.00 more had sold. All but $15 of my ticket= paid. Went to bed praising Him!
Friday:
8:15am- Woke up to a tweet from Lena, inviting me to carpool with her and 2 other lovelies from Nashville. Instant tears. Rebecca responds that she lives in Murray (30 min. away), and that I can ride with her to meet the others in Nashville. Uncontrollable sobs. Y'all He is good, so so very good.
around 9:00am- Checked facebook. Ticket, travel and hotel are all paid for.
In 24 hours. Less than that really. I was speechless, smiling uncontrollably- but speechless.
I had sold a pair of pajama's and 2 shirts to a girl for $4, we'll call her Jane. I arranged to deliver various items to people throughout the day Friday. I delivered her items, and thanked her for her part in getting me to this conference. After a long day of deliveries, Olivia and I went home to get ready for dance. A quick phone call to Ashley about all this awesomeness. Still in complete shock. One more check of facebook. Jane had requested 2 more items. Again, her total was $4. We arranged a time that worked for both of us to make the transaction. Then Olivia and I left for dance. We got home around 7:30 and I did another quick check of facebook. Jane had sent me a private message saying that she had miscounted her money and that she didn't have to money to buy the items because she still had to buy diapers for her daughter. My heart broke for her. She said she really wanted those pj's; I told her that I would be happy to hold the items for her until she could get them. Instantly the Lord spoke to me. He told me I should give her the items. I went to sleep that night thinking of her. And remembering times when we struggled and were blessed beyond measure by someone else. I knew what I had to do. I woke up early on Saturday morning and got ready for work. I thought about Jane all day long. My heart was just so heavy for her. When I was driving home I prayed for her and her circumstances. As I rocked Olivia to sleep the Lord told me that I wasn't done with her just yet. I needed to buy those diapers for her. There was no doubt. I had to do it. I went to sleep again, thinking of her, the conference & His goodness. I woke up around midnight and could not go back to sleep. Finally, around 3am I got out of bed. I had to get the thoughts out of my head. I sat down to write a little note to accompany the little care package. I can't remember exactly what I set out to write. All I know is that as soon as I sat down to write all I could think about was purpose behind Influence. Making much of Him. This was what it was all about. MY influence. I had the opportunity to be a light for Him in this moment. This was my chance to use my influence in life to show someone Christ's love. Amazing. I bought the diapers ($9.97) and delivered the diapers, pj's, toy, a pack of wipes and my heart for her in that note. I had told one of the girls at work about this situation and how my heart was broken for her, then I told her about my morning delivery and that I hoped it gave Jane some encouragement. Not 10 minutes later a customer walked in and bought a preservation kit from me. An automatic $10.00 spiff onto my paycheck. See what He did there. Chance and I didn't really have the money to buy someone else's child diapers, but I did it anyway. And He provided, as He always does.
So it all came full circle. A dream turned to reality, a need turned to a blessing, all for His glory.
Two and a Half
Hold her a little longer
Rock her a little more
Tell her another story
(You've only told her four)
Let her sleep on your shoulder
Rejoice in her happy smile
She's only two and a half
For such a little while!
Happy Half Birthday, sweet girl. I love you more than words could ever express. You complete my world and make me a better person. Thank you for being you. Love always, Mommy.
September 18, 2012
so much...
So, so much has happened.
I hadn't intended to take a summer sabbatical of sorts; but life got hectic- and it just kind of happened.
It's been busy busy busy at our house.
Since Olivia's diagnosis we have really been focusing on our little family. It has been an adjustment to say the least. Though we are eternally grateful that her condition is not serious and completely manageable, it is still tough to watch your child go through something like this. Thank you for continuing to keep our family in your prayers. We will forever be thankful for all of them.
Olivia started preschool and ballet. My heart has nearly exploded many times.
My best friend threw me a surprise birthday party.
Chance and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary.
And about a thousand other little things.
Writing posts on all those things today, and planning future posts. Lots of exciting things going on and coming up!!
August 6, 2012
Blessings Abound.
Last Thursday we took a day trip to Nashville, TN.
As soon as we got to Nashville we headed to Joe Naturals and had lunch with new friends..
Y'all I got to have lunch with Raechel and her sweet babes! Let me tell you, as delightful as she seems on her blog- multiply that by about a million and that's what you have in person. She's amazing, and I pretty much love her heart!
Olivia and Hazel were born only a week apart and had a blast playing together- they were so cute!
Lunch was amazing- and reason enough to drive 2.5 hours; but the main reason we went to Nashville was to take Olivia to see the specialists at the Infectious Disease Clinic at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital.
{If you are not familiar with Olivia's medical condition you may want to read this, this or this first.}
After about 2 hours, and a ton of questions- we finally got the answers we've waited since November to get. She has been diagnosed with periodic fever aphthous pharyngitis and cervical adenopathy (PFAPA.) Commonly referred to as periodic fever syndrome. She will require medication at the onset of each episode, and will grow out of it between the ages of 7 & 8. This is definitely the diagnosis we were praying for, and it eliminated a lot of very scary alternatives.
The staff at Vanderbilt was truly a blessing. They were so thoughtful and thorough. It was such a relief to finally feel heard. The Lord has shown His grace and love to us through the people we have met during this season and those who've prayed with us for healing and answers. We thank each and every one of you! God is good friends, and His blessings abound.
As soon as we got to Nashville we headed to Joe Naturals and had lunch with new friends..
Y'all I got to have lunch with Raechel and her sweet babes! Let me tell you, as delightful as she seems on her blog- multiply that by about a million and that's what you have in person. She's amazing, and I pretty much love her heart!
Olivia and Hazel were born only a week apart and had a blast playing together- they were so cute!
Lunch was amazing- and reason enough to drive 2.5 hours; but the main reason we went to Nashville was to take Olivia to see the specialists at the Infectious Disease Clinic at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital.
{If you are not familiar with Olivia's medical condition you may want to read this, this or this first.}
After about 2 hours, and a ton of questions- we finally got the answers we've waited since November to get. She has been diagnosed with periodic fever aphthous pharyngitis and cervical adenopathy (PFAPA.) Commonly referred to as periodic fever syndrome. She will require medication at the onset of each episode, and will grow out of it between the ages of 7 & 8. This is definitely the diagnosis we were praying for, and it eliminated a lot of very scary alternatives.
The staff at Vanderbilt was truly a blessing. They were so thoughtful and thorough. It was such a relief to finally feel heard. The Lord has shown His grace and love to us through the people we have met during this season and those who've prayed with us for healing and answers. We thank each and every one of you! God is good friends, and His blessings abound.
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